I really want to start a mindfulness class/group at the office but my schedule has been a little unpredictable as of recently.  So in preparation, I decided to provide some resources and discussion on mindfulness until I can get something organized.

Why Mindfulness?

A lot of work that has to be done in treatment involves looking at obstacles to our goals.  Obstacles that bring individuals into therapy a lot of time involve very difficult emotions and painful memories.  In order to overcome these and begin making progress toward the ultimate goals that actually lead to peace and happiness, we have to be with these painful feelings/memories and work through them so they don’t resurface or if they do it’s at least with less intensity.

To “be” with these memories/emotions involves mindfulness, to “be” in the moment without judgement or attachment.  Of course we don’t just begin with the painful emotion/thought and teach mindfulness as we go, we have to begin with mindfulness and then use it when we are ready to face the difficult “whatever”.

Emotions as Messages

A good place to start with mindfulness is the understanding of emotions.  Many of us were taught that emotions like anger, grief, stress, loneliness, shame, guilt were bad to feel and experience and we should avoid them or get rid of them at all costs.  Emotions are just chemical messengers.  They are more specifically the mechanism to which our mind can register a chemical message from our body or subconscious.  Each emotion serves a purpose.  Anger – something is wrong and needs to be changed.  Anxiety – I need to prepare for something.  Sadness/grief – Something/Someone was important. Guilt – I should have done something differently.  Happiness – something is going well.  Fear – I need to protect myself.  Frustration – This is not going as I expected and I need to re look at the goal.  Shame – my reputation has been damaged and I will need to repair it publicly.  There are obviously more emotions and more messages.  These are just some of the main ones we experience.

How to Hear the Message

So you can see how running away or blocking these emotions can leave you in a bad situation.  You won’t get the message.  And of course if you don’t get and answer the message and nothing is resolved.  The message will continue to be released by our body.  The first step in mindfulness is staying in the moment long enough to receive the message(s).  Many times in order to do this we have to learn certain practices that may not come easy, like breathing calmly.  This means not hyperventilating by allowing slow long exhales to be the focus.  Our body does this naturally through a deep breath and a sigh.  If we continue with this deep breath and sighs, we actually are working on a skill that will allow us to experience the emotion without getting lost in it.  We overcome the fear of the emotion.  The fear telling us to protect ourselves from getting lost.  We listen to this and develop a strategy to protect and ground ourselves, which involves the deep breathing with long exhales.

Practice the Skill

The next step is after receiving the message, interpreting it and deciding if the message is coming from a reliable source or a “cognitive distortion”.  My next post will focus on the message.  In the meantime, we all can practice mindful breathing in just our day-to-day experiences.  Like waiting in line somewhere, we can breathe through our frustration.  Similarly if you have kids then when you are angry, breathing through the anger before reacting till you can formulate why you are angry. Is it because they need to change something or do you need to change something like getting something to eat.   Life gives us many opportunities throughout the day to practice mindfulness in a safe environment, if we choose to recognize it in this way.

A resource to check out:

The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction, by Rebecca Williams, PhD and Julie  Kraft, MA