If you’ve been following along, we’ve been exploring three core questions about chronic pain:
- What is pain, really?
- Why does my body perceive pain the way it does?
- How can I experience less pain, move better, and function more fully in daily life?
In the last two posts, we explored what pain is and how the nervous system processes it. Today, we begin answering the third question:
How do we experience less pain?
The first step is understanding the difference between pain and suffering.
Pain vs. Suffering: What’s the Difference?
Pain and suffering are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same.
Psychology Today offers this helpful distinction:
- Pain: A physical sensation that occurs in response to injury or illness. It serves as a biological signal that something may need attention. Pain can be acute (short-term) or chronic (long-term).
- Suffering: The emotional and psychological distress that arises from pain. It is influenced by how we interpret, react to, and relate to the pain — including anxiety, frustration, fear, or hopelessness.
Pain is a biological message.
Suffering is the story we build around that message.
When we reduce tension, fear, and resistance — as discussed in previous posts — we reduce the nervous system’s perception of threat. This alone can dial pain down.
But we can go further.
We can begin to separate sensation from interpretation.
Why This Matters for Chronic Pain
Pain is not optional.
Suffering often is.
We may not control the initial sensation, but we do have influence over:
- Resistance
- Catastrophic thinking
- Identity-based beliefs (“I am broken”)
- Fear-based projections about the future
Suffering is often the additional layer we heap on top of the biological pain.
It’s similar to the difference between guilt and shame:
- Guilt says: “I did something wrong.”
- Shame says: “I am wrong.”
Pain says: “There is sensation in my back.”
Suffering says: “My body is broken and my life is over.”
One is data.
The other is interpretation.
How to Distinguish Between Pain and Suffering
Use the following self-inquiry to separate sensation from story.
Step 1: Is This Sensation or Story?
Pain-focused questions (sensation):
- What am I physically noticing right now (location, temperature, pressure, movement)?
- Can I describe this using only sensory words?
- Is the sensation shifting, even slightly?
Suffering-focused questions (story):
- What am I telling myself about this sensation?
- Am I predicting the future?
- Am I making this mean something about who I am?
- What am I afraid this pain will lead to?
Pain: “Sharp, pulsing in lower back.”
Suffering: “This will never get better.”
Step 2: Is There Resistance?
Suffering often equals:
Pain × Resistance
Ask yourself:
- Am I fighting this sensation?
- Am I bracing or tensing against it?
- What happens if I soften by just 5%?
- If this sensation were allowed to exist for 30 seconds, what would change?
The nervous system amplifies pain when it senses threat.
Resistance sends a threat signal.
Softening reduces it.
Step 3: Is Identity Involved?
Pain is an experience.
Suffering becomes identity.
- Am I saying “I have pain” or “I am broken”?
- Has this sensation become part of who I think I am?
- Who would I be without this story?
Step 4: Am I Time Traveling?
Pain happens in the present moment.
Suffering lives in the past and future.
- Am I replaying how this started?
- Am I imagining worst-case outcomes?
- If I focus only on right now, what is actually happening?
Often, this moment is tolerable.
It’s the imagined trajectory that overwhelms us.
Step 5: What Is This Pain Trying to Protect?
This is where we shift into compassion.
- If this pain had a protective job, what would it be?
- What might my nervous system believe is dangerous?
- Is there an unmet need underneath this sensation?
Pain is not your enemy.
It is often your body trying to protect you.
Step 6: Separate Sensation from Meaning
Try this:
- What is the raw data?
- What is the interpretation?
- Which part is optional?
Example:
- Raw data: throbbing knee
- Interpretation: “I’ll never hike again.”
- Optional layer: catastrophic projection
A Simple Formula for Reducing Suffering
Pain = Sensation
Suffering = Sensation + Resistance + Story + Fear
To reduce suffering:
- Ease resistance.
- Rewrite the narrative.
- Challenge fear-based thinking.
- Respond with self-compassion instead of self-judgment.
For example:
Instead of:
“I won’t be able to provide for my family because I can’t work.”
Try:
“I care deeply about providing for my family. I will explore options and get professional guidance.”
One is fear.
The other is values-based action.
Want to Go Deeper?
If this resonates with you, I’ve created:
✔ A guided journaling worksheet to help you separate pain from suffering
✔ A nervous system reset practice
✔ Additional members-only resources for managing chronic pain through ACT, mindfulness, and yoga therapy
You can:
👉 Join my newsletter for free resources, guided practices, and early access to upcoming groups.
👉 Or explore the Members Content Library, where I share deeper teachings, downloadable worksheets, audio practices, and structured pain-management tools.
Reducing suffering doesn’t require eliminating pain.
It requires changing your relationship to it.
And that is absolutely possible.
